he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
