I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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