you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
