just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize