grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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