now i know why i became what i already was.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
