..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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