Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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