Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
