How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
