You just made me feel so damn special
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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