Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
