i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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