If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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