It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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