Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
