Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
