I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize