Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
