I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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