Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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