Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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