Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
