The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
