i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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