I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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