Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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