There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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