dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
