Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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