went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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