so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
