I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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