Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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