he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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