Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
