I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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