so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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