Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
