Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
high people should be assigned attendants
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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