she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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