Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
as a side note pls kill me
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
