My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize