This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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