i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
