You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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