I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
