just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
