I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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