dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize