you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
