I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
