he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
