You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Everyone says I win the strip club
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
