i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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