Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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