omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
