I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
