You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
