He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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