Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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