there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
